I am in the middle of a fasting I started last night. I did a full fast for 24 hours and then decided to do a partial fast for the next two days to see how my body does with the fibro. I felt my spirit strongly tonight as the food settled inside of me. My spirit felt sad and hurt and angry from both this life and many before it. My spirit is crying out for love to heal. I started healing my mind (ages 21 to 28), then my body (chakra works for 2.5 years), now it is time to take time to heal my spirit. I have been feeling strong blocks on trying to get things done where I use to be more productive. But as I have just finished my chakra works as of last month ending in my crown chakra I now realize that my blocks are because I cannot just work with two of the three parts of me. I thought that working on my body using energy was balancing my soul, but that was only one part of it. And I only realize it now how the process of healing had to go. I now know why life brought me here to seclusion. I would have never sat with myself if I was still in the states. I am always taking care of others. I love it, it fulfills me to watch people discover how amazing they really are, to see that light of love for themselves radiate throughout their mind, body and spirit makes my life feel strong in meaning. But as a healer we have to learn to take time for ourselves. I did not know how much healing I needed right now as well. I have learned that the most positive personality, acceptance and forgiveness are just one part of it. And while I have learned over the years to love myself deeply it was only parts of me that were receiving it fully. So now I start of the final healing journey of healing myself, my spirit. It is time to be with me and love my soul so that it may be cleansed and be free!
On this journey the secret lies in my breath it is the food that I feed my soul. I have to learn to breath properly all the time. This is something I have been working with for many years and while I am better at it I am not perfect yet. As I sit here and right this I notice that my breath is much more loving and kind as a breathe where before I just breathed to bring in oxygen as a automatic response to living. My meditations will focus on the way I breathe and how I hold my body as I breathe. I let go of tension and feel peace. After so many years of stress my body's natural breathing state has been tense and forced. This is why my soul is in so much pain and needs healing. I demand so much from my soul and do not give it the love it needs or deserves. I think I do, but my actions show differently. My intentions and thoughts are always to love myself, but my actions need to be the same.
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