Learning to Feel Comfort In Being Happy

For many of us it is not a problem with wanting or desiring to be happy it is trying to feel comfortable with being happy all the time. When we go through extended periods of hardships we become naturally nervous and fearful of what is to come next. This creates a mistrust inside of us. We get particularly fearful of those who are nice to us. At least we know what to expect of the people we do not trust. This feeling of fear not only resonates externally, but internally as well. It is in our thought patterns and how we work with others or choose to let others in. In many cases it is the direct reason we keep letting people in who are toxic for us, because our way of thinking does not allow us to see everything at first. So how do I move through this?

The answer sounds simple, but it is not simple at all. We have to walk through the fear of being happy. It is not about focusing on what could happen it is only about focusing on the happiness. This is a minimum 8 month commitment to change and a maximum of 5 years when you choose to do this. It is filled with daily repetition and reminders to retrain the way we think, feel, act, react, and live. When our minds begin to focus on the negative and we just want to talk about what is bothering us we learn to let go of the urge and focus only on being at peace and letting go of what drags us down. We do not have to be in a constant state of fighting to be able to live. While there are some things and people who bring us trauma we learn to not let them matter anymore. This does not mean that they will not be punished or held accountable for what they have done. It means that you will not let their actions continually drag you and your life down. In your success in being happy you will not let them have anymore power over you and your life.

Do not get mad at yourself if you find yourself in negative thoughts, actions, reactions or patterns! This is important. Recognize where you are and simply correct it. There will be times where you have to work extra hard to get out of your own head and way, but over time you will learn to become happy just for the sake of being happy.

The one thing we know about the past is that it has already happened. There is nothing else we can do about it. The one thing we know about the future is that we create it from our present actions, thoughts, emotions, and reactions to life. So the most important moment we can live in is the present. Learn that being happy does not mean that you become a beating pole for others to take advantage of. Set proper and appropriate boundaries. React in a way that allows you to stand up for yourself, but then do not hold onto what happened. It is when we play and replay events in our heads that we let go of our control and happiness in the moment. We continue to allow the person who hurt or disrespected us to have present power over our life. At this point their actions are controlling our future and it is us who is letting them. Setting a proper boundary, standing up for yourself, and not letting them have power over your present are all ways that you are taking control over your past, present and future. You are in control and are creating what you want from life.

Find time to just be at peace everyday at least twice a day. Listen to your thoughts. That which you are focused on the most is that which you are putting first in your life. Learn to change your thoughts to just being in the moment around you. If your environment is not in chaos at the moment then let go of the chaos inside and make that moment yours. One moment at a time you will find the change. Then positive things will flow into your life and all you will feel is the happiness you desire.

It is ok to be naturally happy. It is ok to be happy even when the world is falling apart. It is ok to let others go and learn to walk on their own. It is ok to let others go and learn to walk on your own. Most people who continually find them self in a victim role have to learn what it means not to always be a victim. At some point you have to become strong enough to let others go and live your own life. If you can support the lives of others you can support you.