The healing process starts with your thoughts. Continuing to have the negative thoughts does not give you power it does just the opposite. It takes your power away. It perpetuates a negative energy void into your energy. (Negative not being bad, but scientific for drawing out of energy in using Positive energy you fill and take in. This can be just as bad when we take in too much.) In this negative void the thoughts you are filling it with are those of hurt and betrayal. So what you are putting into your life is hurt and betrayal. You are creating an external focus so you are never focused on healing you. This changes the energy format to putting those who hurt you first. That which you are thinking of is what you are putting first. This further takes away your power. A positive healthy person does not have to think about all these things because they do not see them, feel them or face them. They only see, think and feel the happiness. Many times we feel after we have been hurt that if we do not think about these things and hold the people that hurt us responsible for their actions that they can continue to hurt us. This is not true. Once the boundary has been set our ability to live a happy life then they will fade into their own world and have to deal with their own energy and what they have done. The transfer of energy shows us that when we let go of someone else's energy that it has no choice but to return to its source. Another idea people have is that they have to make the person pay for what they have done to become their discipline. The question becomes when do you stop taking responsibility for being their teacher and let God or Life be their teacher? It is not their destiny that you are responsible for it is yours. Send a good dose of healing energy and then walk away. Let life naturally teach them what they need to learn.
You need to focus on healing you. Your life cannot always be about the scars that you carry. Your life has to be about much more than that. So starting with your thoughts. Begin to make the only thoughts you think of be about love. Draw your energy into you. Stop trying to talk to people about what has hurt you. No more focus on what has hurt you. Your only focus is on love. It is a very powerful word. Every time you feel yourself thinking of this or wanting to reach out, ground into you and say the word "Love". After about the 15th time you do this you will begin to feel the grounded positive strength you are looking for. In following the traditions of the Mala (prayer beads) we need to say things 120 times to begin the power of creation. You have to become your own strength. Just like working out you cannot expect someone else to make you thinner or stronger. All this has to come from you. If you were to continue to ride on someone else's back as they ran on the treadmill you would eventually make them collapse. The strength of everything has to come from you working it out and working through it.
Purchasing a Mala is a great tool for healing. It allows you to work through knowing you said something 108 times. It is also an easy tool to help you get through this. You focus on the parts that hurt you, but only to find where you are weak. For each bead say love. Focus only on the word love. Do not allow yourself to think the negative thoughts that are in that space. Do not allow yourself to feel the hurt that is in that space. When you do feel love. You know what love is even if you have not received a lot of love in your life, because you have given a lot of love in your life. Start with giving yourself the love you give to others. Make yourself feel the way you make other people feel. Keep doing this daily as many times as you need it until you feel nothing but love and strength from that love. Til you do not think about the pain from your scars anymore.
Next create simple affirmations to say to yourself when you begin to feel the weakness throughout the day. As you feel yourself slipping say to yourself "I love you/me "You/I am beautiful" "You/I am Amazing" I put in a change of words because sometimes it just feels good to say you to yourself as if you are having someone talk to you and give you the comfort that you are needing.
This will not be an easy process, but the more you draw your energy into heal you the more your will help your scars to disappear. This will allow you to attract the relationships with life, self and others that you are looking for. Eventually that which has hurt you moves away from you and you have the most beautiful you that you can think of!
